Not Mentally Ill Enough

“It’s not that bad.”

“Others have it worse.”

“I’m just being a child.” “I’m not really depressed.” “I’m being ridiculous.” “I’m just a weak person.” “I should be able to handle this myself.” “Why am I being such a baby?” “Stop being stupid.” “Get over it.”

Do you hear yourself thinking these things over and over and over again?

I did, too. Right before I tried to kill myself.

I told myself constantly that I wasn’t really sick, even when I had suicidal ideation and was crying myself to sleep every night. I saw the stories of others in worse circumstances than me and thought that if those people weren’t depressed than I shouldn’t be either. I read online posts scolding others for pretending to have mental illnesses to gain sympathy and thought if I talked to someone I would be fishing for attention. I heard the voices of those already diagnosed with depression and thought my story didn’t fit with theirs at all.

But I would find myself reading the symptoms of depression. I would take quizzes online to see if I was depressed. I knew deep down I had depression, but I couldn’t bring myself to get help. I knew I had a problem, but I did nothing about it.

But why?

It’s simple; I felt unworthy of it. In my mind, my situation wasn’t deserving of sympathy, my life was worthless, and no one would care if I was gone.

That was three years ago.

I may not be one-hundred percent better yet, but I’m still here. And I want to tell you that if you feel like you need help, then…

You

Need

Help.

Do not feel like you do not deserve it. Everyone deserves to be healthy.

Don’t give in to any excuses your mind tries to tell you.

“It’s not that bad.” If you feel it’s that bad, it is.

“I should be able to handle this myself” But you don’t have to. Don’t worry about “bothering” others. People in your life, even just acquaintances, would rather help you than see something terrible happen to you.

“Others have it worse.” Maybe. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve help.

When you’re depressed, nothing feels like it can get better. But if you reach out and get help, it will get better. Not completely. Not right away, anyway. But it will.

Just hang on.

If you or someone you know experiences mental health issues, it is important to seek help from a qualified professional. Our Resource Specialist can help you find expert mental health resources to recover in your community. Contact us now for more information on this free service to our users.

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Author Bio: Sarah Schlenker is an undergraduate student at Adelphi University pursuing a Bachelors of Arts in Psychology. In addition to her studies, her own experiences with mental health issues, depression and anxiety in particular, have expanded her knowledge of the human mind and shaped her views on the field and recovery methods. She hopes through her work as a writer she can connect with others experiencing mental health concerns and help them through their recovery journeys.

Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash

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