The term “triggered” is commonly used these days for comic effect on social media, in everyday conversation among friends, and in work situations. More than just a cool or funny “buzz” word, the term triggered is loaded with meaning. Recognition of the state of being triggered is essential for self-awareness. Equally important is being able to work through a triggered state to maintain emotional health and healthy relationships.

Definition of Trigger

In popular psychology, a trigger is something that causes a strong emotional response.

Merriam-Webster defines the adjective triggered as “caused to feel an intense and usually negative emotional reaction.”

Understanding Triggers

Triggered states are emotional “flashbacks,” often in response to past trauma or unresolved emotions. The trigger is usually a stimulus of a specific kind, such as behavior from another person, a word, phrase, or even an environmental cue. When the trigger occurs, an emotional recall takes place, and the event is experienced again. Such triggers can be disruptive to an individual’s work and personal lives.

Here’s a hypothetical example:

Trisha works in the healthcare field. She has the respect of her teammates, and she is very well-liked. Once, while working on a project, one of Trisha’s colleagues asked if she could complete some unfinished work of his. Trisha became angry and began to yell at him. The rest of the team was shocked at Trisha’s reaction since she had never displayed such behavior before. At the end of the interaction, she was very remorseful and felt guilty and embarrassed about what happened.

Trisha told her therapist about what took place at work, hoping to gain some insight and understand why she reacted the way she did.

When Trisha was younger, her older sister often left her chores undone. This sister walked with a limp because of a shortened leg at birth. Trisha’s mother would insist she finish her older sister’s chores because she didn’t want to overwhelm the sister with physical activity. This often led to Trisha missing out on time with friends.

When Trisha’s coworker asked her to complete his part of the project, Trisha emotionally “flashed back” to her childhood and those missed moments with her friends.

Trisha felt taken advantage of, just as she did as a child. She never healed from the emotional pain, nor did she talk to her mother or older sister about how she felt as a child when she had to complete her sister’s chores. Trish was still carrying the emotional pain with her.

Recognition of a Trigger

In a triggered state, the body may react as if presented with a threat. Sweaty palms, anxiety, fear, and increased heart rate are common reactions felt when someone feels triggered.

When our brain perceives a threat, a person reacts in one of four ways:

Fight – an offensive action in response to a threat (anger and yelling)

Flight – a defensive action in response to a threat (running away)

Fawn – attempting to win favor to avoid the threat (bargaining, sweet talk)

Freeze – inaction to threat, usually due to fear (inability to act or move)

Importance of Recognizing Triggers

Self-awareness holds the key to healing emotionally. Triggers can be disruptive to interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships due to unresolved emotions and past trauma. A failure to understand them can harm close relationships and damage self-esteem.

How Do You Work Through a Trigger?

So, how do you work through triggers? Here are four steps:

1. Identify the feeling.
2. What does this feeling/situation remind you of?
3. Allow self-compassion
4. Mend relationship messes

1. Identify the feeling

Give yourself some space to process your feelings. If expressing feelings wasn’t encouraged during childhood, some help may be needed to identify the feeling.

Here are some feelings to identify: Sad, alone, fearful, anxious, angry, hopeless, inadequate, incompetent, ashamed, frustrated, discouraged, violated, offended, neglected, helpless, ignored, embarrassed.

2. What does this feeling/ situation remind you of?

Can you identify any event in your past that you experienced similar feelings? When did it start? How old do you feel when thinking of that feeling?

3. Allow self-compassion

Don’t judge yourself harshly for the feelings you identify. Once you recognize the origins of the feeling, love that version of yourself, whether you were a child or an adult. Comfort yourself with the words you would have wanted to hear then.

4. Mend relationship messes

For messes that may have happened in relationships due to a triggered reaction, do your best to repair the connection. Reach out to the other person, apologize, and try to restore the relationship (this step may not always be possible). Phrases to use when trying to mend relationships are:

“The story I was telling myself was…”

“The message I was getting from you was…”

Applying these steps becomes more intuitive with each instance you practice them.

Conclusion

Recognizing and working through triggers helps improve your relationships and increases self-awareness and emotional health.  

About the Author: Precious Kilpatrick is a nurse practitioner and passionate writer on topics of emotional and mental health, chronic health maintenance, and relationships. She loves creative writing, short story writing, and poetry. Her hobbies include gardening, baking, reading/listening to multiple books, and spending time with her family.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-man-touching-his-head-3752834/

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