There’s a concept in psychology called anticipatory anxiety. It is a fear or worry about something that could happen in the future.
This sort of anxiety generally happens because of our desire to control or foresee future events. Yet, despite our deepest longing to do so, we are always bound to miss something.
Take Tim, for example. He’s a new lawyer who excelled as a student but opted against taking a demanding job at a law firm because he feared losing control of his time and, ultimately, his life.
He opted to work as a freelance writer but remains unhappy that he’s not using his legal skills to solve the problems he’d always wanted to tackle.
This persistent fear of a potential negative outcome (however unlikely) is common. We’ve all been there. About to embark on a new adventure — a first date, a job interview, or a long trip —your mind starts spiraling with ‘What ifs?’
- What if this person wants too much of my time?
- What if I fail at this job?
- What if I embarrass myself by making a mistake?
In this blog post, we’ll discuss some easy and effective ways to overcome your fear of the future. You’ll learn:
- Why it’s vital to acknowledge your fear, not run from it
- How to reframe your thinking to rise above fear
- The importance of leisure activities in calming the storm
- Reduce self-criticism and embrace self-love
Acknowledge your fear.
Anticipatory anxiety is not a disorder in itself. It’s normal to consider what might go wrong in life. But if your worries about the worst-case scenario in future situations are persistent enough to interfere with daily living, you need to make changes.
One such change is acknowledging your fear and challenging the thoughts around it. Although our culture glorifies strength and ultra-confidence, we rarely admit the evolutionary upside of fear.
Fear, in healthy doses, aids survival. It indicates that we care and are not living mindlessly. So there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Do not interpret your fear of the future as a sign of weakness or trouble. Instead, channel it to make good prevention-focused decisions. If you’re scared of flunking an interview, use that fear as fuel to prepare better.
Challenge your thoughts.
Pause and challenge these thoughts when spiraling into “what if” scenarios.
Ask yourself:
- Is this thought based on facts or feelings?
- What evidence do I have that this outcome is likely?
- What evidence do I have that I can handle challenges?
For example, if you drive everywhere instead of flying because you think your plane will drop out of the sky, consider the facts. Objectively, flying is a much safer way to travel than driving.
When you confront your fears with objective evidence, you show your mind an alternative outcome. With that new knowledge, your mind can let go of the fear and replace it with the truth.
Cognitive restructuring is a key feature of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and can teach you to notice and change negative thinking patterns.
Detach and practice mindfulness
Mindfulness techniques can help anchor you in the present moment, reducing anxiety about potential future events.
For a simple way to practice mindfulness right now, do this exercise:
Step 1
Take a deep breath
Step 2
Notice five things you can see
Step 3
Identify four things you can touch
Step 4
Acknowledge three things you can hear
Step 5
Note two things you can smell
Step 6
Recognize one thing you can taste
A grounding technique like this can help shift your focus from imagined future scenarios to the present reality.
Practice self-compassion
Don’t speak harshly to yourself when you notice fear. As we’ve already established, anticipatory anxiety is an entirely normal thing — only we experience it in varying degrees to varying effects.
Instead of resisting your worries about what could go wrong, embrace them. After all, life would be boring if there was no chance of anything going wrong.
Living happily with uncertainty
A quote from Tony Robbins is right on target here.
“Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and start being excited about what could go right.”
Two takeaways from that quote:
- Stop being afraid — Acknowledge your fears, but don’t let them scare you into submission.
- Start being excited — Replace fear with excitement. A chance that something could go wrong means that there’s a chance that something goes right.
Guide your mind towards the exciting bit. You can’t focus on the ugly and expect to live a beautiful life.
If you or someone you know experiences mental health issues, it is important to seek help from a qualified professional. Our Resource Specialists can help you find expert mental health resources and support in your community. Contact us now for more information on this free service.
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About the Author: BridgeHope Family Therapy knows enough about anticipatory anxiety and unhealthy worrying about the future. If these tips don’t work, consider scheduling a free consultation with a professional.
Talk to BridgeHope Family Therapy
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-gray-tank-top-looking-frightened-3812729/
The opinions and views expressed in any guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of www.rtor.org or its sponsor, Laurel House, Inc. The author and www.rtor.org have no affiliations with any products or services mentioned in the article or linked to therein. Guest Authors may have affiliations to products mentioned or linked to in their author bios.
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